the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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