I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
