Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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