wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
