She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
