This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize