smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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