Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize