me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize