Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
