Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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