People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My vagina just clenched in fear
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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