We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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