Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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