Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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