did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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