I want to walk on stilts...naked
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't deserve a penis
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
