Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
