We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
They have beer where we have blood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
