This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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