Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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