tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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