i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
