im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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