google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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