just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
