Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
