Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
