if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
