either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize