how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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