My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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