Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
