that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
