They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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