i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
