She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
