Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
