if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
