I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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