I think im going to throw up on grandma
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
