I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i already hear my dad disowning me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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