Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
