I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
