sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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