help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
