Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
