I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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