I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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