I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
