I could make wine with my vomit
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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