I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
