he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
