Swine flu. Run for my life!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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