so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
