I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Vodka?
Forever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
