i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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