How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
