Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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