Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just want nice things and good sex
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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