thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
porn star boner night. come get it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
