I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
